Geese
If you are looking for The Real American Geese, they are flying here! Geese are terrorist birds, that's all you need to know. (this is very much a truthiness) We have to fight them up there so we don't have to fight them down here. They are really the ones in charge of the kool-aid/crystal meth labs in Cuba who are supposedly ran by Kitlers and bears. They like to rape people that: # Are innocent and not yet tainted(i.e. anyone named Dillon) # Try to have sex hair and fail miserably at it # And if you encroch on their teritory. Which is basically everywhere so everyone is fair game. Stephenson Family Members Geese are the sworn enemy of the Stephenson family The geese use tactics such as doing a flying rape swoopty loop or just doing a full on frontal assault with mini guns or bagpipes. Don't be fooled by their cute little sound or their white feathers. White is a pure color, a symbol of innocence, and the geese menace use the color to blend into our society as law abiding birds. The Colbert family can atest to this. Terrorists Yes, there are terrorists out there, but the ones we should really worry about are the GWEP (Geese who eat Poptarts) if we don't stop them now they will invade America, corrupt our politicians, rip us off on our taxes, and creat huge drug problems. They have already stared this, hence 9/11. Iraq doesn't actually exsist, it is merely a cover up for ridding the goose menace. The GWEP leader is none other than Michael Jackson (who invented the flying rape swoopty loop), The Goose (no one knows who he is, although we have an almost hunch he is gay) is his advisor and is said to posses wicked sex hair, and Sarah Palin, who translates goose language and broadcastes goose orders via her vagina (and we wonder why no one takes her seriously.... except her vagina, we take that VERY seriously) A Goose's prefered flavor of sex # 5 people at the same time # Sarah Palin # Strawberry Kiwi # Bears (but the bears willingly give up their bodies to the geese lest they become extinct) # Men named Dillon # High school debaters # Gay guys (sometimes they throw in a female of any species to spice things up) Well this about sums it up Geese have caused countless diseases like Aids, the black plague, ass cancer, Big toe cancer, little toe cancer, the common cold (those bastards), the flu, itching, scratching, watery eyes, blindness, alcohol poisoning (now we know what really causes it, and it's not the beer) Warning! If you see a goose or a flock of geese, the best thing you can do to save your life and your innocence is to immeadiately call the Stephen Colbert Goose Protection Hotline (SCGHL) and wait until Super Man or some other super hero comes to save you. It takes true power to stand up and triumph over the geese. However, Stephen does it daily, which is why we stick to his truthiness and why we listen to our gut. Famous Geese * Honkers And Mrs. Snowdrop External Tubes *The War on Geese